As far back as I can remember, I have loved nature. Growing up, I would read all the animal books and dive into my Wildlife Fact File. I read adventure books like My Side Of The Mountain, The Black Stallion, and Irish Red. I think maybe I’ve always kind of wanted to be an animal if I’m honest. I wanted to live wild and simple. I’ve never bought into all the stress, disregulation, and overwhelm we put ourselves through.
Nature has always been my saving grace. Well, that, having a dog, and fitness. But still, that’s only three things. Ask anyone who knows me, and they can tell you I’ve been this way a long time.
One thing that has shown up in different ways is how I was able to experience nature in my local environment. I’ve moved a lot in my life, and I don’t like to move in-state. I like big moves and new states. With that comes discovering new ways to get wild.
For the next few years, I’ll be living on the Eastern Shore of Delaware. Before that, I was in Montana.
They have very different climates and the nature of their nature is very different. But my need to connect to wildness and freedom hasn’t changed at all. If anything, it only grows stronger each year.
That’s how I find myself, more nights than not, sitting in the grass on the side of our road, only feet from a slew of townhouses staring up at the sky.
I’ve learned to love evening walks with Eros. To be clear, that’s my dog, but walking with him is walking with love, so whatever. We wait until the sun has gone down and people are in their houses, so we can run free through the public areas of the neighborhood. Sometimes we walk, sometimes we run, sometimes he’s leashed because we know where the cats live. But it’s a little wild and free. Our evening walks used to be our shortest of the daily three. Now, though, it is our time to be wild in a tamed and structured world. I’m actually sitting here with him as I write this.
I joke that even though he’s 12 now, I’ve never made him adult in his life, and I’m never going to. His “baby dog” spirit is so joyful and wonderful when it shows through. And sitting here as he lies down and rolls around is one of those moments. Yes, we moved. Yes, it feels different. Yes, our daily wild had changed. But we still seek it whenever we can. That’s the most important part after all. If I spend my entire life only half domesticated, it will be the best spent life I can think of. Not just for me, but for us all.
We all have our “wild”. We don’t always seek it, live it, or follow it. But when we do, those are the moments of our truist selves. The us we long to be in the moments we choose to conform. Every society has rules, and there is a benefit to working with them if you are a part of them. But that isn’t the beauty of us as humans. The most wondrous expression of self is in the moments we choose to be our instinctive, wild, true selves.
When was the last time you thought to be a wild being? When was the last time you settled into your instinctive connection to this world? When was the last time you let yourself feel free? Was it as a child, a young adult, or last week? Go back as far as you need to remember the experience of wildness? Remember the thrill. Hold onto it. And seek it.
It doesn’t have to be big; it just has to be you, in joy, as we all deserve to be.