Resource guarding is a common behavior issue in the canine world and is especially prevalent among adopted animals as a result of the negative expectations they have been conditioned to. However, resource guarding is far from exclusive to the canine or animal kingdom. Most of us engage in it daily. What I want to address in this article is why it happens and offer some awareness to help you avoid it.
Before I ever became a life coach I worked as a professional dog trainer. I’ve even had the chance to work with and train search and rescue dogs for a time. Which was awesome btw! I’ve always found great joy in trying to understand the dynamics between humans and animals. Most recently, I was given the opportunity to try my hand at being the shelter manager for a local Humane Society. During my time there, we had a few dogs that began struggling with resource guarding. And I say struggling for a reason. Resource guarding is about fear. And no one likes being afraid. When a dog is resource guarding, it is because of a fear of losing something. It’s a possessiveness towards something they need or deeply enjoy. It comes from a sense of scarcity. I am pretty sure that is a feeling we ALL understand.
Again, resource guarding isn’t exclusive to animals. Let’s take jealousy as an example. The two most common areas for jealousy are romantic relationships and the workplace. Now, ask yourself why? What is unique about those situations that seem to make them hotbeds for jealousy? My answer is value. As a whole, our society puts great value on both romance and our jobs when it comes to self-worth. Not to mention the time investments for both. Jealousy though, isn’t that exclusive. It can rear its head in any area that you value. Think about where else jealousy comes up in your life. Can you find the correlation between your jealousy and how much you value the focus of that jealousy?
Let’s move beyond jealousy now and check where else we might be resource guarding. Have you ever gotten mad because someone interrupted your focus? What about someone bothering you before that first cup of coffee in the morning? What about that slow driver in front of you when you were in a hurry? Most of us, especially those of us in the United States place a high value on time. Even in personal development and motivational speaking, comments on using your time wisely and about it being the one thing we can never get back are everywhere. It is a hustle mindset mantra. To be clear, time management is important, but context matters. When discussed in a healthy way, it is mentioned so that we can check the levels of fulfillment we experience each day enabling us to reflect and gain greater joy in our lives. However, just like the dog who doesn’t want to let go of his toy or let you near their food bowl, the more common outcome of this cultural dynamic is a sense of scarcity and potential loss. And anywhere there is a sense of scarcity or loss, there is a desire to guard that which is precious. Just ask Smeagol.
Thankfully we are indeed smarter than our dogs. I know sometimes we may question that, but it’s true. You see, that dog doesn’t have the same reasoning ability to connect that giant bin of food to the fact that he doesn’t have to worry about where his next meal is coming from. The resources and proof can be right in front of them, and still, they can’t see past their fears. While we often do the same thing in not realizing the opportunities right in front of us, we are far more capable of the critical thinking required to make those discoveries.
Take some time today or this week to look at your unique stress points and where you may be resource guarding. How many of them are coming from a sense of scarcity rather than opening yourself up to the possibility of abundance? What negative expectations have you become conditioned to? How do those expectations create fear in your life? What can you do to overcome those fears? What opportunities are you not taking the time to see? Where might abundance exist if you take the time to look?